Facts only a true Ohioan will tell you

An excerpt from David's farewell talk at church

1. Schools close for the state basketball tournament. Deer season, too.

2. In Ohio you get all four seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction

3. "Toward the lake" means "north" and "toward the river" means "south"

4. It is not uncommon to have to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day

5. The four major food groups are beef, pork, pop, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows

6. Halloween costumes have to be designed to fit over a snowsuit

7. The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires six pages for sports

8. The only spices owned are salt, pepper, and ketchup

9. Negative 20 degrees Farenheit is considered "a little chilly"

The rest of the facts were either about football, the weather, or hating on LeBron James